An epiphany.

Yesterday I watched the latest episode of "What Not to Wear" and experienced an epiphany in tandem with the woman who was spotlighted. Stacy, the female host, said something along the lines of, "What good does it do anyone for you to focus on your flaws? What good does it do anyone to not allow yourself to believe that you're pretty?" I suddenly realized that I have been living with the belief that I need to acknowledge my physical flaws to others. I have been living with the belief that I cannot be (I am not allowed to be!) happy with my body now because it's not how I think it should be. I feel the need to tell the world, "Yes, I have gained some weight over the years and yes, I should wear make-up and I know my belly is disgusting! I'm aware of it and I want it to change! Don't worry, I certainly don't think I'm beautiful!" But what is the result of such beliefs? Is anyone edified by them? My daughters are learning from their mother that any physical imperfections they have render them incomplete, NOT ENOUGH. That they need to agonize over any so-called flaws and suffer to change themselves as much as they possibly can to fit a completely subjective idea of what beauty is. That they are not good if they are not striving to become that ideal and loathing what they are now. That is not what I want for my girls! I want them to look in the mirror and think, "I am beautiful! My body is a marvel and I love who I am!" And don't we all love to be around women that feel that way about themselves? They make us comfortable and feel more kindness towards ourselves. We think, "Oh, how I wish I had her confidence! What a peaceful way to exist in the world!" We don't think, "How dare she think she's lovely? Hasn't she noticed her chubby thighs and her stringy hair?!?!"

I once read that comparing myself to other women and then using my perceptions of those people to judge my worth is like being in a beautiful garden and thinking that the garden's beauty somehow detracts from our own. It sounds silly, doesn't it? Our beauty and goodness exists separate and whole from the beauty and goodness that is all around us. Just because Julia Roberts is gorgeous does not mean that I am suddenly not. Just because that one mom at church that seems to have it all figured out is chic and stylish and lovely does not mean that I am not myself lovely and worthy of just as much love and kindness.

We need to take care of our bodies, but not because they are flawed, but because they are a GIFT! They are amazing and wondrous! We need to love and treat ourselves like we treat our best friend. Would you tell your best friend that she is gross because she had a cookie when she's "supposed" to be dieting? Would you tell her that she shouldn't feel beautiful because she's a size 14? No, never! Everything Heavenly Father has made is good (see Abraham 3:23 in The Pearl of Great Price). EVERYTHING. Including you. Your worth is constant and infinite and you cannot change it, no matter how many mistakes you make or how many pounds you lose. You are enough.

Besides, for all we know, our perfected celestial bodies that we will receive after we're resurrected may all be bald and a size 22. :)

Love who you are and teach that to your daughters.